I'm too overwhelmed to think. The cars are packed. The house is empty. We're ready... as we'll ever be. This is it: "tonight's the night, tonight's the night, tonight's the night".

I can't promise we'll update from the road, but we will try, there's always public libraries. For those of you who are curious: here's a map of our route. It's a little on the scenic side, but we figure this might be our only opportunity to go driving around, site seeing for a week.

I can't wait to be there. And at the same time, I can't wait to see my family and friends again. I love you all. Wish us luck. With 26 hundred miles ahead of us, we might need a little.

I'm moving to California!!! Love you all. Gotta go...... bye!

I woke up this morning with my heart pounding 'outta my chest. Its close. I can feel it. I shouldn't even be writing now, but I'm in need of a break. Its strange I'm so ready to go (except for the whole saying goodbye part) but there's so many routine things left to do. I just finished the dishes. The house needs to be vacuumed after we get the rest of these boxes off the floor. We have bottles to return. It kinda' takes the spontaneity out of it, if you can say this was spontaneous, we have been preparing for a month.

Amanda and I are going to try to stay up all night packing and finishing up things around the house. Tomorrow my dad is going to stop by and drop off the love seat (it will stay here until Billy picks it up with the Uhaul. Actually my whole family should be stopping by sometime in the afternoon tomorrow... we [Amanda and I] thought we would have time to run out to Onsted, but we underestimated the mess that would become of our house. It's going to be hard to say goodbye.

It seems like I got on here to say something more interesting. But Amanda starting showing me a photo album from when she was young. Now, I can't think of anything but all the things I have to do in the next twenty-some hours.

Our website has reached nearly four thousand visits since we first began. It's only been a little over a month and it seems like such a huge number. Now I'm sure we can take into account how many times we checked is (we, meaning our family and friends), but there have been four thousand unique visits that weren't by bots or spiders. The tech-savy know what I'm talking about, but if you're like me and new at this web game, search engines like Google have crawler programs that literally go out into the world wide web and find web pages. The hits I'm talking about were from personal computers.

So yay for us. I'm always under the impression that I have no audience, but it would seem we've started a following.

Mike and Amanda leave on Sunday. I'm elated. I wish I were going with them now, but it's a small matter. I'll be there soon enough. Billy and I are going to try and make the trip as quick as possible. Not with excessive speeding, but without excessive stops. I'm hoping we can make it in three long days. It's been done. Actually, I've done it.

I doubt there will be many more posts from Mike and Amanda for a couple days. They're running around frantically (and I mean that literally) trying to finish all the things on their chalkboard list. Among them were getting an oil change and getting rid of Mike's car. I called him this morning to tell him I got a mowhawk today and he told me he sold the car for $25 to a dealer in Hamburg. I thought it was worth at least $27.

So, to my best friends, I will say simply: May the wind always be upon your back, the sun always upon your face... and may you not spend all of my $1,000 for first, last, and security deposit.

Godspeed Mike & Amanda. Enjoy each other.


p.s. If you were reading closely, you might have noticed I said "mowhawk". Don't think I was kidding.

Tonight the four of us went out, probably for the last time before the trip. As much as I really didn't want to go to Theo's, there were about as many fun things as there were not so great. I know it's a little vague, but I don't want to incriminate anyone. Let's just say Chuck's pants are ripped and the refrigerator door is now good for more than keeping the light off and the food cold. Let's just leave it at that. I don't really have a lot to say, but I just wanted to put this night on record for ourselves. Until next time..........

It's hard to tell from the picture below, but thats two half's of a futon frame sitting on the roof of my escort. And worst of all, its hanging on for dear life by means of some string and a long white strap I found.



To explain: The frame has been sitting at the Romig/ synergy office (now just Romig) for months, and last night while final cut was compressing I decided to make the most of my time by driving out to Jackson to pick it up. After all; Amanda and I still needed something to sleep on out in California. So I get there around 11 o'clock and there's no power. So, I get a flashlight thats basically dead, and start searching for an allen wrench which I remember last seeing somewhere on the floor. After twenty minutes I find it in the pitch black. But I can't hold the flash light, work the allen wrench, and use the pliers [I found to loosen the bolts] at the same time. So, I carry the futon, in it's entirety, outside and set it in-front of my headlights and go to work. I'm half way done with dismantling it when I realize I need two different sized allen wrenches.

"Damn"!

So I go back inside, the flashlight barely lighting the way, and search on my hands and knees for another twenty minutes (knowing that there was no way the futon was fitting in the escort without taking it completely apart... believe me: I tried). So finally I accept that its not in the room. So what now? I didn't drive an hour out there in the middle of the night to go back empty handed. Thats when I saw the string. Well you know the rest; I spent an hour tying down the frame and wondering if I would even make it out of Jackson before disaster struck. Amazing enough. It held the whole ride home.

Anyways. I have to get back to building a dvd, so I'm just gonna link these next three pictures and not go into great detail about them. This first picture is one I snapped of Amanda while we vacationed on Beaver Island for a week. It's my favorite picture of her.

Next, I have two pictures that Nick (my brother), and Mandy (my sister) gave to me at the going away party last sunday. Nick has been busy teaching Mandy how to play the guitar, he said she is catching on incredibly fast. I can't wait to watch them 'jam' together. For the ladies reading, yes, Nick is available. As for my sister, my mom freaked when she saw she was wearing make up... but seriously; look at those eyes. She looks like a model, I imagine she'll break a few hearts in high school.

Ok. Back to work.

The title is yet another google search phrase that caught our website. It's almost like a haiku.

It's nice to be back from the dead. Though Monday was a horrible experience for me, I'd rather it was all done in a day. I stopped puking sometime before I went to bed, and generally felt ok the next day. Apparently this is all attached to some type of epidemic. Doesn't matter anymore. Though I'm sure I lost about 5lbs.

Anyway, I decided I should let everyone know Michelle took great care of me all day. Only to go back to Ohio for her spring break sounding like crap. She got me juice and everything. Not to mention I wasn't speaking (or really concious) the entire day, so I'm sure she had fun talking to my cousin and her husband that she'd met once. :)

All kidding aside, Aurora loved Michelle. When we left to go to lunch together the next day she balled her eyes out and pounded on the glass as we drove away. I felt like crap and so did Michelle, but I'm a heartless bastard, so I just drove away. It was nice to eat again after 40 hours too. That first bite of alfredo sauce is just... well it's more than I can describe with words.

My boss is taking my leaving very well, to the point that he might even be able to find me work in LA. He did a lot of his lawyer stuff (don't know what else to call it) when he still was one in California, so he might know some people to hook me up with. If not, it's still cool cause he's going to write me a letter of recommendation that I'm sure will be very nice. All this and all I had to do was put in a two weeks. Go figure.

Everyone at work wants to take me out drinking before I leave. I don't know what it is with these people and intoxication, but I think they're just saying goodbye the only way they know how. I'm going to something in March that's basically just a bus ride to several different bars with a dinner at the end. You get a t-shirt and everything. I'll look like a real drunk. Not those fake kinds you see on TV.

Olivia talked to me the other day. Sounds like she's doing well. I miss her. I'm trying to get her to see me before I leave but her clever husband must have her tucked away somewhere. There's a lot of people I'd like to spend an entire week with, but it looks like it might be more like a few hours for each. If I didn't have to work so much, I could get a little bit of this stuff done. I haven't even seen my sister in 3 weeks.

So, to summarize. I'm busy and tired. Michelle is good. Livi is cool. Bad brother. Drunk. Work in LA maybe. Too poor. Blathering. This post is dumb, I'm going to bed. Fix tomorrow maybe. Probably not.

But instead I'm procrastinating on the internet. Mike drove out to Jackson to pick up his futon frame (so we will have a place to sleep when we move) from his old office, and I stayed here because I was packing and didn't want to stop. My goal is to have the bedroom done tonight..... we'll see if that actually happens.

I can't believe it's already going to be Thursday tomorrow, only 3 days left. Wow. I've been so busy stressing out trying to get everything done before Sunday that I've barley had time to think about the fact that I'm not going to see anyone after that.

I spent some time with Jenny and Sarah on Monday night for the last time before I go. It was so hard to say goodbye. When Jenny dropped me off we hugged close and kissed and she said "I don't want to say goodbye so I'll just see ya later". When I came to the door Mike opened it to see a few tears falling down my cheek and said "are you.." then he gave me a hug and I just couldn't contain the sobbing that immediately followed. I'm going to miss her hugs and her smile and her voice and all of her encouragement. And the way she laughs at herself when she does stupid things and the way we share everything and never judge. I'm going to miss her poetry.



That is Jenny, on the right holding her daughter, Judah. And that's her husband, Abel, and their son, Adam. She has such an amazing and beautiful family.

Jenny and I were brought into each others lives by God, for an important reason, she and I both felt it the instant we met. Although we may not live in the same city anymore, we will be friends until we die. Neither one of us ever questions that.

It's so weird to say goodbye to someone when you know how long it will be before you see them again. I'm not looking forward to saying goodbye to my parents, my sister and Crystal.

I wanted to say it was nice meeting everyone on Sunday. I wish I could have gotten to know some of you more, but it was all a bit chaotic. It was great to see so many people supporting the trio.

It's getting kind of close to 'go time' for me, too, I guess. Tomorrow I start packing/throwing things out. That may be a bit difficult, since I keep everything. I also have to figure out if I want to rent a U-haul or buy a large van for the trip. I figure with the van I can always sell it and get most of my money back, but I don't know if that's do-able yet or not. I'm also stuck on whether I should put things in storage here or take them out there and put them in storage. I guess it will depend on much I keep. I'm hoping Chuck has opted to lag behind a couple of weeks and make the trip with me. It's a long trip to do on your own. It would be nice to have some backup.

Someone asked me the other day why I was going to California. For those who are curious, I've been wanting to make the trek to California for years now. I've always been into entertaining and creating. It's what I want to do in one form or another. So, around seven years ago, myself and a close friend at the time (James Korloch, an extremely talented man in his own right-I think he has a profile on IMDB.com, actually) decided we were going to make the trip out west and become something. Unfortunately, things didn't work out the we planned and we eventually it was just an afterthought. I felt like I had let my father down, though, and it always bothered me. You see, just a few years before, my dad had become stricken with throat cancer and was dying. I pretty much put my life on hold at that point, so that I could spend all of my time with him. I loved my dad more than anything else and I wasn't going to miss a second I could have with him. Near the end, he had called for me in the middle of the night to talk to me. His voice was just a faint breath with a trace of gravel because his throat had been eaten away by then. I held his hand and listen to his every word like it was his last. He talked for a few minutes, but it got to be too much for him. Before he finished he said, "I love you, Son. I want you to follow your dreams, whatever they are and don't let anyone tell you that you can't do it. You're a good person and I'm proud of you." I remember what he said, because I kept a journal of my days with him, so that I would never forget our time together at the end. I didn't follow my dreams before. I let them pass by the wayside and it's always eaten away at me. Now I have a chance to make up for that and I intend to so, with interest. I don't know what's going to happen when I get out there, but there is nothing that's going to keep me from trying. I'm not much on revealing things about myself, but there you go, a little insight into me. That's my main reason for going to California. For more insights into me, read my new autobiography 'I Laughed Until I Cried (And Vice-Versa)', on sale in June at a bookstore near you.


-I love you, Dad...

I spent an hour and a half importing footage from a play I'm editing, I brought it into final cut and noticed; "there's no sound". Then I noticed the timeline only read as being a half an hour long [not an hour and a half]. Something was off. The video was playing three times faster than normal, the aspect ratio was un-stretched, and the sound was missing. Poop. So, I've restarted my computer and am trying again. I was really hoping to be cutting film by now, I need to get this production out by mid-thursday. So, I'm cutting it close (no pun intended).

Anyways, Amanda is in the bedroom making "thank-you" cards for everyone who attended the going away get together. We both should be packing, but she is feeling under the weather and I'm just procrastinating.

I got back our caliblog.com go west stickers today. They turned out great. Very simple. We plan to stick them anywhere and everywhere we can on the drive out there. So, if your between Michigan and southern California then keep an eye out. We'll be leaving our mark.

I got the escort insured today, I went into the secretary of state to get the title switched but it was jammed packed. It's basically the last loose end I have to tie before going. Aside from a handful of hard goodbyes I have left.

Jen stopped by last night to pick up Amanda for a girl's night. I decided to give her my first camera, a Christmas present from my mom. I asked her if she ever bought a new one, or if it died on her, to let me know. The camera has very sentimental value to me and I hope someday to get it back. But, Jen has two beautiful daughters, Judah is two and a half, and Eva is only one. Jen is incredibly artistic, and she is with her daughters all day long. I know she'll put the camera to more use than I would. Plus, I always kinda' wished my parents had more video of me when I was growing up, i guess this is me living vicariously through Jen... or something. I wish I was rich enough to buy Jen an iMac and a miniDV camera... she would have a ball with iMovie.

Well, times up. Looks like the footage is all imported. I apologize if this post is extremely boring to read... I was merely killing time.

Today, while I was in the shower staring at the wall, thinking how the hot water never lasts nearly long enough, I wondered where I would be showering in two weeks. I thought about how somewhere out in Hollywood right now, someone else is also busy packing, getting ready to move out of their apartment, unknowingly making room for us.



I did a google search for "california coast" today as I was waiting for a DVD to finish writing. The picture above reminded me of the bike trip. Which in effect, reminded me of what it felt like then to leave for the west. To be honest: its exactly the same. No, wait, thinking about that more, I would have to say: it's worse. I was leaving for only two months then, in six days I am leaving for much, much longer. It's a hard thing to think about.

But I try to think back to the nights before I left for the trip, and how I was completely unaware of how amazing [and difficult] an experience I had ahead of me. And I know that as hard as it is to wander so far from my family and friends, the lessons I will learn along the way will be worthwhile. I keep reading this excerpt from something I have been writing for sometime now, and it helps me stay focused. It reminds me of my coach, and how he always taught me, "no one ever did anything great in their lives without taking risk".

I know now that it's the best piece of advise anyone has ever given me.

I woke up a few hours ago with my head pounding. I felt hot waves rush up and over the back of my neck. I tried to turn over in my sleeping bag and go back to bed, but suddenly my stomach turned in that old familiar way, and I knew what was coming.

I made it to the bathroom as quickly as I could and realized in about two seconds that I was either very sick, or my food had been very poisoned. After being glued to the commode for a few mintues, the saliva in my mouth started to build up, and a cough turned into a lurch. Then I lurched again, sniffed, and thought to myself, "Why does this always have to happen in Jessica's bathroom?"

Sure enough, I leaned forward over the bathtub and vomited for so long it was difficult to breathe. I bade farewell to my chicken and potatoes dinner. I could feel stomach acid rip through my esophogus and nose canal along with spit and mucus. Tears started to well in the corners of my eye as I held onto the side of the bathtub, to avoid hitting the rug, or Aurora's bath toys strewn about within. The smell was overpowering as I wished I had gone to bed on an empty stomach.

I just sat there for a few moments afterwards, with my legs pressed up against the side of the cold porcelain and floor. I had both arms draped over the edge and spit out the rest of the offending goo in my mouth. Afterwards I was breathing a lot easier than usual. I decided the acids in my stomach must have cleared out my nasal passage pretty well. The adundance of oxygen made me euphoric. I thought surely the worst was over.

Not quite.

And if you want details, just re-read the first few paragraphs two more times. I spent the better part of two hours in the bathroom, lying on the floor, or perched over the toilet or bathtub.

I feel hot and miserable, and I have a feeling that before the end of the day I'll be able to further explain in excruciating detail my sickness. To make matters worse, I have to be to work at 9am. Normally I'd blow it off, but I'm the opener, so I can't. Damn responsibility.

I was going to write an entry this morning about me going to California. I wanted to tell everyone that I am leaving. For some reason, everyone thinks I'm going to stay. You all have it very wrong. I'm not waiting for a thousand dollars here, just gas money and some change. So no more pools or comments, please. It's killing my fun. I'm already leaving a few people sore, so you're not helping any. Sorry to go off there. Just wanted to be clear. I AM going.

However, for the moment, I'm just going to work. Let's hope the smell of seafood soup makes this all better. But I'm guessing it probably won't.

I'm sick..... I feel like crap. But still.....today was a good day.

I woke up and thought I was going to die, then my sweet sista, e$ brought me some medicine so I was all good for the party. It went well, I think. Lots of people showed up, I was actually surprised, something like 60 people total. WOW! It was pretty crazy trying to talk to so many people all at once. Chuck said afterwards that it felt like he "just went to Mike and Amanda's wedding or something". I was so exhausted. But still, I wish it had lasted longer so I could've spent more time talking to people individually. I was just so happy that everyone came, it made me feel so loved and supported. It really made me ready to go, talking to everyone about moving and hearing all of their encouraging words. I know that I am backed by so many people, this can't possibly go wrong. Mike said the party today made him sad to leave, that it really sunk in that we are leaving and we are going to miss so many people. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, and I've even started crying a bit, but I know it won't fully sink in for me until about a week after we're there.



My mom reminded me today that when she left her small town of Pigeon, MI and moved down here to go to EMU, she also was the only girl moving with 3 guys. Coincidence?

My dad told me the story of when he first moved away from home to go to Delta College, he left with only 150$ and all of his possessions in the trunk of his car. He ended up sleeping in the parking lot of the school for a couple of weeks waiting for his financial aid to start. Then he made some friends who needed a roommate and they took him in.

My dad once told me "money is just money, you can't take it with you when you die". I remember that all the time. He also has always told me "don't let not having enough money stop you from going for your goals, just pray and ask God for what you need and he will make sure you get it". I think he's right.

Apparently, there's been some confusion about whose idea it was to move to California. Amanda told me everyone thinks it was Mike's idea. This is preposterous! : ) I'd just like to set the record straight right away and claim full responsibility for this irresponsible decision. Maybe I'm just a little bit selfish to want to take all my friends with me, but I think it's where they belong.

In other news, a girl at work told me she has a friend that works at Disneyland in Anaheim. She said the people that sing there get paid $40,000 a year. She's going to call her this week and see if she can get me an audition. I'm going to have Michelle help me figure out what key I sing in and buy some sheet music to see if I can audition for them. It sounds really goofy to play a Disney character, but hey, $22 bucks an hour sounds pretty good. Jessica said the best part would be that 95% of the male performers there would be gay, so I'll have my pick from Jasmine to Cinderella.

Looks like this will be my last week (s?) at Zoup. It's been a wild ride, but the belt is starting to dig into my lap. They've been leaning on me so heavily the past month or so that I don't really feel as bad about leaving them. I mean I'll be giving my two weeks and everything. Anyway, they helped me and I worked hard for the time I was there. It was a fair relationship.

We're not sure if I'm going to be able to leave on the 29th. Unfortunately my funds are a little bit lower than expected. I'd sort of set a bar for myself and I'm a little bit under it right now. We're still trying to figure out whether Mike and Amanda will wait for me, or if I can leave early with them or what. If I do have to wait, it's going to have to be at least a week. It all sucks. I really want to go with them, but I can't leave with almost no money. I'm just hoping my Michigan tax return will get here before the end of the month. On the plus side, if I leave after them, Billy will have someone to ride with. I was a little worried about him coming over all by himself.

A lot of my old pals are coming out of the woodwork to say goodbye. It's strange how many people I've heard from, wishing us good luck and whatnot. I was just writing letters to people the other day that I haven't heard from in a long time. It's so weird that these people have been a part of my life for so long and I'll probably never see many of them ever again. Stinks...

Someone got to our page the other day by typing this into Google "wait for me to move out west its okay if you don't. i hope you know you're my favorite thing about the west coast. i wish i stayed. i hope you wait" I don't why, but I find that really cool. Amanda says it's song lyrics, but it sounds like prose to me. I'd like to paint it on my wall.

Thanks, Livi, for the comment the other day. Nobody seems to comment on my blogs, which leaves me to wonder just how boring my posts are. (Naturally, this is all just fishing for some comments. : ) But hey, I'll take pity.) Thanks to everyone for being so supportive. We all appreciate all the cool stuff you leave for us. We plan to keep this thing going for a long time, so stick with us.

When we talked about moving to LA, we made a list of pros and cons. One of the cons that I added to the list was that happiness can't be a place. Happiness has to come from inside. You can't just move somewhere that's sunny and warm and expect it to solve all your problems. However, I've thought this through a bit, and I've decided that if you want to solve all your problems, it's nice to be sunny and warm. : )

We love you guys.

People are so upset about us leaving for California. I know they're going to miss us and it will be a life adjustment for them, but 'Stop thinking about you're freakin' selves!' Look, I understand that I will be missing from their lives and I don't want to hurt anyone, but their losing one person. I am losing not only that person, but every other individual person who is losing the one 'me'. I'm seperating myself from everyone that I love and have had in my life, PLUS carrying the guilt that I'm hurting the people I love, PLUS upheaving my entire life, PLUS worrying about what's going to happen once I get out there. We're not walking on air saying "Yeah, it's almost time to go to California. Things will be great once we're there." ---This is a hard decision and we're making sacrifices to do this, and only a few people in my life are saying, "I'm sad that you're going and I'll miss you, but I'm so happy you're not willing to let your dreams die." Most people are just predicting our inevitable failure. That's so sweet, isn't it? 'I love you, but I can't wait for you to fail miserably, so that I can show you how right I was that you shouldn't have lived your own life.' If you're still living at home or under you parents direction, you have no right to make that call because you have yet to truly live your own life. If you are an independant person with a life you've created based on the decisions that you've made, then you're a hypocrite. What makes you good enough to take a point in your life and become what you make of yourself, but for some reason the person that you supposedly care so much about doesn't have enough worth as a person to be allowed to do the same. If we fail, so what? That's what happens in life: You succeed, you fail, you learn. That's always changing. The only thing that shouldn't change is the love and support of the people you care about. If you're not going to be there for us if we fail, how are you actually here for us at all?

I love the people that I'm going to California with. They're a part of my life. Do I think they have enough experience or appreciation for certain aspects of life to make it without guidance? Probably not. But I believe they have the potential. They're not stupid people, they will learns things they never thought they would and life will probably throw us all for a loop a couple of times, but we'll each be there to pick the other one up when it does. I believe in them enough to close one eye and take a chance with them, and I have no safety net if it fails. I just have me, so I'm taking a bigger chance than anyone. There's no going home to my family, it's not there. Maybe we'll make our future and maybe we won't find it there, but the only way to truly fail is to never try at all. Face it, it's a done deal. It's going to happen. We have to try. You have a short time left to spend with us before we leave, it's up to you what you do with it.

In the bedroom, on the wall at the foot of the bed, hangs a giant oversized chalkboard, Amanda has been using it to keep a list of important things left to do before the 29th. Today's list: Cancel utilities... finish designing Elizabeth's DVD cover... jump the Mercury & clean it out...

I managed to cancel all the utilities and finished the DVD artwork, but the Mercury didn't go as planned. This morning I parked my Escort nose to nose with the Mercury... got out the jumper cables and tried turning over the engine but just got clicking. So, of course, I waited - hoping the battery just needed a bit more juice. So after about two minutes of sitting in the Mercury, leaning back in the seat, I noticed something: it was quiet. Quieter than it should be. I got out and saw that my Escort wasn't running any-longer. I jumped in the drivers seat only to find that my gas tank had run itself bone dry. Two cars in the drive way and neither one was going anywhere.

For the most part of the day, I just sat around not making the most of my time. I waited [13 hours] as Final Cut exported/ compressed the FutureStars footage I have finished cutting for Pioneer's theatre guild. During that time I spent a few hours trying to figure out why caliblog.com wouldn't load (the server must have gone down). Watched the making of Taxi Driver, studied up on Media Carta, read alot of breaking news on yahoo, and talked to Billy on the phone.



It's funny, this time last year this house looked similar: boxes stacked in every corner of the house, the walls without pictures, the t.v. sitting on the floor of the living room. It's been a year exactly today since I officially moved in with Amanda. I wouldn't have guessed that a year from the day I moved in, that we would both be preparing to move across the country. We made it this far... and without much difficulty... I believe that when I say; we will be okay... I am being reasonable. I love you, Amanda.

Greetings and salutations out there in Cyberland (Well, technically you're not in 'Cyberland', you're in the tangible world. But you are looking at this message in...whatever, you know what I mean!). This is my first official entry into this blog, so let me start by saying that---Michael is forcing me to do it! They have been cohearsing me through this whole thing. I humor them for now so that no one gets hurt, but mark my words: Their uppin's will come! You know what? No...this isn't my first official entry. We'll call this my 'clearing of the throat' paragraph. My feet are now wet. I'm now in my groove. So for my first trick...
I'll talk to you tomorrow! (Whew! That was easy!)

If Michelle ever gets mauled by bears, I hope they stay away from her face, because I think she's cute.

"In a totalitarian system, you aren’t allowed to talk back to the government; in the capitalist system, you can’t talk back to the sponsor."

Earlier this morning, Chuck's dad [Jim] left a rather lengthy comment in the cali:guestbook. But he was cut off mid-thought due to the max-character limit. But I am assuming that since he put 80% percent of it out there for the world to see... he won't mind my linking the completed letter on the blog.

I only feel the need to post it in its completed form because it is one of the recent non-supportive comments / conversations I've had in the past few days about us leaving. Coincidentally enough: both non-supporters have been conservatives. But, both have used the: "all three of you are going to get a big education. Like it or not..." approach.

And it makes me wonder; what effect is that fact suppose to have on me? Am I suppose to be scared of this "education"? Should I try my damnedest to avoid these 'life-lessons'? Actually: I can't wait to "learn".

It has been argued that my leaving "sets me back, as opposed to moving forward". And I wondered how chasing my dreams is a step in the wrong direction.

My little sister left that comment. The 29th is coming up so fast it makes me sad to think about the family and friends that I will leaving behind. But mostly: my little sister and little brother will hurt the most. I don't know how to best put this into words... with my parents... I know them - they are at the point in their lives where they know enough about themselves where they are who they are... and I know fairly well who they are. And I trust that in the months between my leaving and coming back for any special events, they will still be the same parents I know now.

But as for my brother and sister... especially my sister - its so incredibly scary to leave them behind. She is young enough to change drastically in those few hypothetical months... and I don't want to not know my baby sister... it would kill me. I wish she (Mandy) and Nick (my brother) didn't have to stay behind... I wish I could pick up my whole family and take them with me - hell, this state is so cold and ugly six months out of the year I don't know who wouldn't want to leave.



The past few weekends I have been spending sundays in Onsted with my family. The last time I was home Mandy wanted to go car sledding. What is car sledding you ask? Take a rope... tie it to the back of a car or truck... grab a sled and have fun.
So the three of us [Nick, Mandy and myself] drove behind my old school since it was one of the only places that still had a good layer of snow on the parking lots. Thanks to the nights before of slow rain; everything was under a thick sheet of ice... it made it much easier to do tricks while being dragged: like spinning around in circles at twenty miles an hour. Fell off a few times but it never hurts (unless you unexpectedly get dragged into an iced over pile of plowed snow... ouch). But it was alot of fun... and it will be one of the only things I miss about winter.

But in closing: I will miss everyone I am leaving, my mom, my dad, my brother, all of my family. I will miss you too, Mandy. More than you will ever know.

This is just a teaser. A page Chuck once did as a joke... not many people have seen it, but for those who have... all of them: have wanted more (including myself). So, of course, I thought I'd put it on display for the world to see... all eight of you out there reading caliblog. And in return I am hoping to get enough response to inspire Chuck to continue our chronicled cartoon adventures in the film biz.

So please, everyone take a look... for those with slower connections, give it time, its a large picture, but I think well worth the wait. Be sure to leave a comment [below] afterwards.

I think this is perfect timing to get another wave of response - with our road trip coming up fast, it would make a great and long waited addition to the would be "adventure of..." series.

Finally. Caliblog is up and running. And we couldn't have done it without Andrew from getmeonline.net... no more advertisements... no more picture'less blog entries... so, Andrew, if your reading: Thank you.

Today Chuck and I talked for a while, and I nagged him into saying he would leave on the 29th with Amanda and I. So for those of you who posted your supporting comments... I owe ya' one. I have been looking forward to playing frisbee in the Grand Canyon for weeks now, well... not "in the Grand Canyon"... but in and around that general area. Anyways... now I still get to.

Okay... I'm having trouble writing because t.v. [Friends] is very, very distracting. But the real point of this post anyways was to just see a picture of us on the blog. Its exciting... yes it is. For those of you who don't know already, this is us at a friend's Halloween/ birthday party last year, from left to right: Chuck, Amanda (the Girl) and myself.

Okay... I have to go grocery shopping now.

Valentines Day: Flowers for a loved one... 50.00 - candy hearts... 10.00 - a romantic candle light diner... 45.00 - Saving every penny for a cross country move... doesn't allow for any of this.
Amanda and I sat on the couch and exchanged v-day cards we both made for each other, my card [for Amanda] had two pairs of cut shoe strings (this has nothing to do with the title...)

Actually this is going to take some explaining: When Amanda and I first met I used to wear a short shoe sting around my left wrist, it was cut from my last pair of running shoe during cross... the same shoes that trained me into state competition... so, of course, they were sentimental to me - and to remind myself of all those miles... all those years of hard work... I always kept it on my wrist. (Until one day I was out with Amanda and looked down to notice it was gone... and I didn't find it... so I was sad) Anyways; Amanda a few different times had mentioned she wanted a shoe string also... so we could both have one ("aww... how cute"). So; finally:

In her card I put two short shoe strings, and we each tied one on each other's wrist. Amanda joked that we had finally 'tied the not'. Then around 8 o'clock we went to see 50 first dates using a packet of free movie tickets Amanda had got as a Christmas present. It was actually cute... and sad a few times (I know... I'm a baby). But unfortunately we couldn't go out to diner... I couldn't buy her a dozen roses... no box of chocolate hearts... we had to save as much money as possible. But it will be worth it when we finally get to see the ocean.

Everything decents been done. All the great themes have been used up. Turned into theme parks. So I don't really find it cheerful to be living in a totally exhausted decade where there is nothing to look forward to and no one to look up to.

I got to sleep in today. My past few days routine has been work and then some more work with a little bit of sleep in between ever other "work". Ugh... hence: I haven't posted "since tuesday".
Zoup! hasn't been terrible, but it hasn't been great either. I'm pretty sure Greg, my boss, doesn't think much of me. Chuck asked why I was even concerned with getting Greg to like me, I am quitting in a few days anyways. I guess it would be more exciting if I saw how long he would put up with me... but I am guessing it wouldn't be long. As far as 'synergy' goes - I'm in over my head with footage I have yet to edit. It will be interesting to see how I manage to pull it off.

I got an email recently from my uncle Kevin, who [unfortunately] I rarely see these days. But I remember him being around alot during my childhood. And I always liked him - he always seemed to know what to say to make someone laugh, a personalty trait I wish I could say I had, but when it comes to being around strangers - I'm not much for cracking jokes. And it probably sounds funny, but I always envied my Uncle Kevin for that. Anyways, I wanted to post his email on the blog - I thought it was incredibly encouraging.

Hi Mike, I was just finished reading your thoughts and comments you posted, on your web site. I think this is best thing you can do for your self. Being out on your own so far from home will cause you to learn things about your self that you never knew before. I am proud of you, for chasing your dreams, and not falling into some dead end life of just working to put food on the table. Michigan is a great state, but it is also a tough state to find good paying jobs. You find it very hard to get a custom to the area and life style of California, but you will find it very rewarding in the end. I hope to see your name on the big screen some day soon.
Good Luck!!! your Uncle Kevin

If your reading Kevin, thank you very much for the email. Its nice to hear from you, and its nice to be reminded that I have family and friends that are out there wishing us the best.

I have a question for everyone reading. Chuck has recently asked what I thought of him staying behind a little longer as Amanda and I still leave for California on the 29th. His reasons are saving more money, and Amanda and I will have more time 'alone'. Now, Billy is leaving after the 29th, but he (having deciding only days ago) obviously needs more time to relocate.
But, neither Amanda or myself want Chuck to stay longer. We have been counting down the days till the "three of us" get to leave for the west - till the "three of us" get to spend a day exploring the Grand Canyon together - and hanging out in Vegas for a night. Waiting till the "three of us" get to pick out our new place. And if it were up to me, I would have Billy there with us also.

So - the question: Do you think he should stay behind?

Work was really slow the other night. I stood around with nothing to do for a long time. Apparently warmer weather makes for terrible soup sales. So I decided to try and make myself busy by changing all the trash bins in the dining area of the store, productive guy that I am.

As I walked to the back, to get some garbage bags out of the janitor's closet, a little flash of orange light hit me in the eye. I turned and looked to see where it had come from, and realized the sunset had lined up perfectly with the peephole on our back door. I walked up to the door and peered through the hole to see a perfect miniature orange sunset and a clear blue sky over the factory behind our store. The concaved shape of the lens made a shining circle to outline the outer edge of the hole.

It was one of the most beautiful sunsets I've ever seen, at just one tenth the size.

I could picture my profile from the side; face pressed up against the door with a little beam of orange light covering my eye. I felt like the only thing keeping me from leaving right then and there was that door. I wanted to follow the sun. I hate that we have to leave in the morning. I'd much prefer the cowboy movie ending where I drive my car into a brilliant sunset.

On a contrasting note, I got a flat tire. Life has a funny way of balancing out those perfect moments.

I feel so fortunate that my family has been so supportive and encouraging. My dad got my brakes fixed for me today. It's been over 2 months since I've been able to drive myself around, I can't drive Mike's stick so I've had to ask him to take me everywhere...... it sucks. That's one less thing we need to worry about paying for. Thanks Dad :)

Tomorrow will be a long day. I'll be gone from like 11:00 am to 11:00 pm. I'm meeting my step-mother, Badria for lunch to hear some of her encouraging advise, which always seems to put my mind at ease. Before that I have to drop a CD off at foto1 to get some prints made of Mike's mom's wedding that I've tried to send to them through their website 3 times already with no luck. After lunch I will be going straight to the tanning salon to start my 1st day at the new job (that I'll only have for 2 1/2 weeks). I worked there a couple of years ago, my best-friend, Crystal, works there and she told me I could start back in January but it's taken a lot longer than she expected. I put off telling her I was leaving until after I started the job because I knew she'd be upset that I'm going and not want to get me the job (which I desperately need). It's been so hard not telling her, the closer it's getting the worse and worse I feel. Several times in the past few weeks I've almost just given up all hope of getting the job and just told her, but I didn't. It will be so nice to work with her for a little before I go, I really will miss her so much (she's been my best friend since the 7th grade). I don't know how the hell I'm going to tell her. I haven't worked since Christmas, that's the longest I've ever gone without working, since I got my first job when I was 16. I guess I have kind of been working, helping Mike run his production company out of our home. Anyway, back to my long day, I'll be finishing up by stopping by my sister's right after work to hear her tell my mom and Ray some news they probably won't like but that I already know cause I forced it out of her. That should be fun.

Mike and I drove up north to Frankenmuth a couple of weekends ago to meet my grandparents for dinner. It was really great to spend some time with them. My grandma Shirley gave Mike and I tips on how to live on a budget and told us all about when she moved far away from home for the first time and had no money. They gave us a nice card with some cash inside (very helpful) and I hugged my grandpa for a long time when I said goodbye and kissed his cheek. It makes me sad when I think that I probably won't see them again until next Christmas, I wish I had spent more time with them over the last 2 years.

My grandma Betty also gave me a very nice tip when she paid me for some house work I'd done for her (also very helpful with our cali-fund). She has always been one of the most caring people in my life, always doing so much for all of her loved ones. And of course I can't end this without mentioning the oodles of help I receive on a regular basis from my mom and her extremely generous Ray, financially and any other way you can think of. So to all of my family and friends: I love you so much, you are greatly appreciated.

And now I must go to bed... Michael is calling...... again.
Why is it that everyday he is constantly telling me to "write a blog" and them when I do, he tells me to come to bed? I'll never understand men. Goodnight.

Mark Maynard posted on his website today about our blog. His feelings seem to reflect everyone else's. People wish they could go with us, or wish they did when they had the chance. Yesterday I thought to myself "Hey, I can always join the army if it doesn't work."

My parents are a lot better now about me going. I'm pretty sure they still disapprove, but the talks we have are all typical parent stuff now. "Where are you trying to get a place?" and "Where are you going to try and work?". My dad was actually supportive. I was driving him to the airport and confiding to him my apprehension about the trip. I almost just wanted someone to agree with me and tell me not to go, but he said something like "Wouldn't you regret not trying?" Suddenly I realized, yes. I would regret it.

Quitting my job won't be fun. I'm not looking forward to telling my bosses I'm leaving them. They've promoted me and placed such trust in me. This always happens. I work hard, get a little bit ahead, and regret doing it because of all the extra effort I have to put forward when they finally up the ante. However, it's a small matter. I'll be gone soon and they'll have forgotten within a couple months.

I bought myself a home budget book in order to keep tabs on my spending. I'm going to try and save all of my receipts so that I can see clearly how much I spend on everything. I want to be as responsible as possible in such a chaotic (if not hair-brained) scheme. I'm hoping to put money aside as the months go by to eventually start an IRA for my retirement. I don't mind being a starving artist for a couple decades, but I don't want to die one.

I'll miss springs, summers, and falls in Michigan. I love the leaves and the smell of the seasons. The landscape can be quite beautiful here when it's determined enough. I'm going to miss my family, the tight-knit bunch that we are. I hope I can improve on my ability to write letters and e-mails to let them know how I'm doing. I'll especially miss my sister. I hope she comes to visit me soon.

Well, I'm tired and prone to making typing errors, so I'll quit while I'm ahead. If you're in California and reading this, make sure to keep it warm for me. I'll be there to take my place shortly. Making Michigan yet another erstwhile home.

We got the call today. Billy said he had gone into work this morning feeling 90 % [sure he was going], I don't know what made it final for him, maybe it was looking around and seeing the same routine, the same job, the same people he was used to seeing for the past four years... maybe he thought he would miss his friends... maybe it was something completely different.
Around two o'clock the phone rang, the caller ID read Target, we knew it was Billy - he simply said; "I'm 100 %".

He was handing in a list of Targets surrounding the Hollywood area to his TRL (Target slang for: team relations leader). He's hoping to transfer - Chuck, Amanda and I used to also work at Target but we all, in our own ways, kinda' burned that bridge. So, unfortunately, we won't be so lucky. But, its official: there's four of us.

These past few weeks Amanda has been busy emailing all of her 'connections' out in Hollywood. And they have been incredibly helpful in letting us know what areas are best to look for apartments in and so on. And up till today, all of the emails have been uplifting. And then Amanda gets one saying; "we might be dreaming about the price".

Needless to say, this email was kind of a bummer. And confusing - considering the apartments we have been looking at online run in our budget [$850 to $1200] and seem to have enough square footage [upwards of 950] to suite four people. So... are the online listings wrong? Are we somehow getting ghetto apartments in North Hollywood? Who knows.

Good news for me: Amanda has a car! Amanda's Dad paid for her brakes to get fixed. So for the first time in two months; Amanda can drive again. But really we hardly ever go places without each-other... so now she'll just drive me around. But really the best part of it is, that her Dad saved us $350... so we owe him big time for that.

Okay - my stomach is freaking out... time to eat.

I feel silly posting this but, here it goes: we need help with our site... we bought a domain name [caliblog.com] we bought server space with getmeonline.net... and of course we have this blog.

All three work individually but thats it. So anyone who might be reading this if you have any helpful tips on how we bring them all together, please leave them under our comments links below. Thank you.

Nervous... anxious... unprepared... hopeful... scared... these emotions (and then some) keep coming and going (probably about as quickly as they can be read). I'm having one of those moments - better described as a panic attack. I can't focus my thoughts, or my feelings, I know I need to be positive, but one after another the: "what if..." questions keep surfacing. Questions I know damn well can't be answered with any other response than: I'll adapt. I'll compromise. Life goes on. I'm just moving...

Or am I?

Is it; I'm finally thrusting myself into the one place where I have no more excuses, no more bull**** to hide behind. I'll be in California and if I'm not filming/ editing/ or writing... at least my own projects then I don't have what it takes. Then I'm waiting for the "vanity crew" or the perfect opportunity, and they'll never come.
The days are counting down fast - and its not only [almost] time for me to: pack up... drive 25 hundred miles... find a new job... and a new place to live - but its time to: "do or die" (dramatic as it might sound).

Am I ready? I believe I am, and that (I think) is the best I can do, the best anyone can do. To sit here and say: 'I'm the next big thing [or] of course I'll make it', would just be cocky and arrogant. And thats no way to go into something as challenging and competitive as film making. No way to go into anything.

19 days and counting.... 19 days.

I'd just like to say, (getting back to what Mike mentioned in his last entry) that this blog would not have been possible without the encouragement of, fellow respected blogger, Mark Maynard. It was he who suggested to Chuck that we keep a blog to record all of this adventure, and since no one had mentioned that yet, I thought I should. I like to give credit where credit is due. Thanks Mark.



Our house is looking bleak now. I got inspired the other day and started to pack up. I took down all of our pictures and decorations. I cleaned off the fridge and packed up my candles. Everything looks so white now. I piled my car full of stuff and took it to Rynah and Adara's. It feels so much better to give my things away to people who will use them than to just throw them away. Emily and Jenny came over the week before last and went through a bunch of stuff I'd decided to get rid of. They each left with a bag of clothes and three other bags of various stuff from the kitchen and bathroom. They kept trying to convince me to keep everything but I told them I had to get rid of it, and besides, it's not so hard giving it away when I know they're taking it. I'm actually starting to like this purging thing. It feels good. Like I really am making a big change. Not just moving to California, but really starting over. I'm changing so many aspects of my life, of who I am. I'd say it really started just after Christmas, when I had a great discussion with my Dad and Badria about what was holding me back, keeping me from chasing my dreams. I finally admitted, out loud, that I was afraid. My whole life I had been so ashamed of this, I'd never told anyone, not even myself. I used to call it shyness.

It's still hard not to give-in to my fear but I'm not giving up. I'm working on it everyday. There's this book called "the life you were born to live". I used to call it my bible. It really shoves is your face the kind of person you are and the things you need to overcome to be happy with yourself in this life. Next time you're in the book store check it out, it's by Dan Millman. It really is amazing, I've given this book to many of my friends and they all love it.

Mike is begging for me to come to bed so I'll have to finish for now.

Amanda and I rented 'IMAX's Everest' from Hollywood Video (since I have unsuccessfully tried to downloaded a DVD rip of it for the past two weeks), I highly recommend it - I think its the first time a documentary has ever brought tears to my eyes.

But the reason I mention it is: the entire time I was watching these three strangers coming together to do something so amazing, it sparked a kind of hopeful confidence that had quietly faded in the past few (boring... suspenseful) weeks. I had lost ahold on that feeling of "this is an adventure/ journey/ challenge/ and I can't doubt myself already - or I'll never last".

But unfortunately Amanda is watching 'Thirteen' now, and the movie is kinda a buzz-kill as far as inspiration goes. Listening to two underage (bitches) teens... bitch,doesn't do alot of inspiring.
I'm only 45 minutes into it and I'm already convinced I never want to have a daughter.

Anyways, enough about that (terrible movie), we got our first comment the other day, by the one and only Mark Maynard from Crimewave USA... it's an honor.

First off: anyone who can tell me where the title: "the fifth gripping week" came from, will win a box of bumper stickers from SendTretter©. Anyways - it is (coincidentally enough) the fifth week into our decision to move. Only three weeks left to go, and they're going quick.

I called about 10 apartments today from online ad's,and I understood about two of the conversations I had. But unfortunately I didn't really get anywhere, which is discouraging, but it's to be expected.

It's still up in the air if Billy is coming with us or not, but between the three of us, I think we've almost roped him in. So, everyone cross your fingers.

I hate it when this happens. Today [all day] I have been moping around the house, dragging my feet, depressed about money, more importantly; the money we need to start a new life.
And (like I said) I hate it when I worry, I especially hate it when I worry about money. Because, everybody knows:

"...money isn't real, George... it doesn't matter... it only seems like it does..."

But, someone must still like me up there, because right about the time I was plopped down on the couch, staring at Amanda's feet as she searched online for apartments in Hollywood, the phone rang. She picked it up, but quickly handed it to me and jumped up to turn the answering machine off (since it likes to pick up halfway through the first ring).
Since the machine was on, and interfering with the voice on the other end, all I heard was; "...name is... from... ann arbor... would...", followed by a loud: 'beeep', from the machine.
So, naturally, I thought I was being sold something from someone, and about hung-up on them when I asked the person to repeat who they said they were, I don't know why I did this because I never think twice about hanging up the phone on solicitors .
It turns out it was Greg from Zoup!, where Chuck works, and where almost three weeks ago, I applied for a job. Of course (having spent the whole morning/ afternoon depressed about having no money) I quickly agreed to coming in to train the next day a 10:30 in the a.m., which is cutting it close considering I have a job to film at Pioneer High School around 6:00.
But I'm sure I'll manage. So, now between editing and serving soup, I have two jobs for the first time in my life. Scary...

A few days ago I really started to trip out about leaving for California. It seems like I'm on a rotating emotional thing.... (I couldn't think of a clever analogy). I'm afraid, then I'm excited, then happy, sad, mad. Whatever. I'm sure this is the way everyone feels when they're about to do something that will change their life for a year at least. The only Hollywood I know is from movies and television. In all honesty, I have no idea what it's going to be like out there. All I know for sure is that the weather will be nicer, so I don't have to worry about wool socks anymore.

My dad's leaving for Asia on February 8th, so I'll only get to see him when he gets back, on the 28th. One day, and I'm gone. I wish I had talked to him more about everything, but I just couldn't think of anything to say. I don't want them to be unhappy. I'm trying to believe they aren't being irrational, but that's what everyone else seems to think. I understand they're just trying to look out for me, but I want to look out for myself for once. I still haven't talked to them, since I told them I was leaving.

I'm leaving a girl behind... I hadn't thought to talk about it before, but it seems pertinent. I've only been dating her for a month and some change, so it's not exactly like a broken high-school relationship, but I'm still sad about it. We'd talked about staying together and her coming to see me in the summer, but she has two more years left of school in Michigan and I'm starting to remember the last time I tried something like that. The girl was only an hour away at the time, and it failed miserably. I don't know what I'm going to do. I know where I'm supposed to be, but I've never known who I'm supposed to be with. I don't know how she feels about it. Not too sad I hope.

So that's about it, I guess. I'm ready to go now. I've almost completely prepared myself. I just have to talk to my parents, fix my car, get my money, and ride off into the sunrise.

This post is simply out of boredom, I have been waiting for the past hour (and then some) for Final Cut to render two parallel video tracks. Ughh... what really stinks is I have been "working" for almost four hours, but I have only probably cut video for a half an hour, the rest: the waiting game.

There has been an addition to our group (Mike wrote about this last night). While we were trying to convince Billy to come with us I was only able to see the advantages this would be for me, but now that it actually might happen, I've been a bit worried; thinking about the possible problems this could cause: Four is a lot of people to share one bathroom, one kitchen, one fridge..... And then of course the obvious.... three guys, one girl..... I'm sure I'll feel left out a lot. I'm beginning to feel this is less about Mike and I moving to california (in a way to start a new life together) and more about Chuck, Mike, and Billy setting off on a mission together to make it in the movie biz and I'm just a tag-along. And what if they hate me? Living with an anal neat-freak could be hard if you're a sloppy boy.

On our Pro's and Con's list when we were first discussing packing up and moving west, # two on the con's was: "Billy will still be here."

So, who is Billy - and why would we miss him so? Chuck and I moved to the Ann Arbor/ Ypsi' area in 2001, we both got jobs at Target (where I met my beautiful girlfriend: The Girl) here is where we also became friends with Billy, the kind of individual you meet where you think; what is this (talented, funny, smart-as-hell) person doing here at Target, when they could do so much more in so many other places, especially a place like Hollywood.

Today he told Amanda and I that he is planning on moving with us. I don't know if all our begging, or the coincidence that his lease ends the day we leave for CA, persuaded him to come with. But I hope he comes, it won't be for at least a month after we've left, but he will decide before the 29th of this month. It's coming so soon. Everything is only days away.
"...A chance to turn it all around..."

(anyone know where thats from?)