A few days ago I really started to trip out about leaving for California. It seems like I'm on a rotating emotional thing.... (I couldn't think of a clever analogy). I'm afraid, then I'm excited, then happy, sad, mad. Whatever. I'm sure this is the way everyone feels when they're about to do something that will change their life for a year at least. The only Hollywood I know is from movies and television. In all honesty, I have no idea what it's going to be like out there. All I know for sure is that the weather will be nicer, so I don't have to worry about wool socks anymore.

My dad's leaving for Asia on February 8th, so I'll only get to see him when he gets back, on the 28th. One day, and I'm gone. I wish I had talked to him more about everything, but I just couldn't think of anything to say. I don't want them to be unhappy. I'm trying to believe they aren't being irrational, but that's what everyone else seems to think. I understand they're just trying to look out for me, but I want to look out for myself for once. I still haven't talked to them, since I told them I was leaving.

I'm leaving a girl behind... I hadn't thought to talk about it before, but it seems pertinent. I've only been dating her for a month and some change, so it's not exactly like a broken high-school relationship, but I'm still sad about it. We'd talked about staying together and her coming to see me in the summer, but she has two more years left of school in Michigan and I'm starting to remember the last time I tried something like that. The girl was only an hour away at the time, and it failed miserably. I don't know what I'm going to do. I know where I'm supposed to be, but I've never known who I'm supposed to be with. I don't know how she feels about it. Not too sad I hope.

So that's about it, I guess. I'm ready to go now. I've almost completely prepared myself. I just have to talk to my parents, fix my car, get my money, and ride off into the sunrise.