There were supposed to be three people at work last night, but one called off. I was planning on doing some computer training in the back, so I dressed casual for the night. When I got there, my boss told me to go ahead with the training and she'd handle the store for the night. I spent the better part of 6 hours in the back office, running through a bunch of incredibly boring tutorials. By 6AM, I'd had about enough of it. I walked out to the front and grabbed the restroom key.

As I was walking to go to the bathroom, a customer gave me a strange look. I thought maybe she was going to flag me down to ask a question, so I just didn't look back. I knew my boss was close-by, so she could take care of any problems. When I came back out, my boss looked at me and said "Someone walked out with a computer! A whole f**king computer!" All I could think was "How?"

Sure enough. One of the bays had a monitor and no CPU. Someone had cut every single one of the cables. Even a few that simply unplug. There are security cameras all over the store, so we walked to the office to check it out. After playing with the recording unit for a few minutes, I got back to when it happened.

At 5AM a couple walks in, gets change at the register and sits down at two computer bays, right next to each other. The guy spends a half hour casually cutting all the cable with a very small pair of cable cutters. These were pretty thick cables, but there weren't any other customers.

We checked the other cameras and my boss was vacuuming the store. There's a beautiful shot of me from above with my feet up on the desk, staring at my computer, just as they're making away with one.

Just two minutes before the guy has all the cables free, a girl walks in and sits down 3 feet from where the lady and her boyfriend are sitting. She looks over at them twice while the guy is still fiddling with everything. They stand up, pick up the CPU, match eyes with the girl, and walk out as fast as they can.

Then the girl sat and waited... and waited... and waited. It turned out to be fifteen minutes. She worked on her computer the whole time.

10 minutes after they stole it was when she gave me the look. I know because I checked on the cameras - but she didn't even stand up when they left to check a license plate or even tell an employee. She just sat there and finished her work.

Right before she left it was practically like "Oh yeah, someone stole a computer." but more like "You shouldn't work here by yourself (to my boss) Someone just stole a computer." [sigh] "Thanks a lot."

The computer is worth about 50 bucks. They suck. Without the monitor, I doubt they'll get anything for it. Plus the store has all kinds of security crap on it, so it's going to be impossible to use at home.

It reminded me of all the shady stuff that happens at the store. The guy that watches porn on his laptop, three feet from the entrance. The syringes and foil they found in the bathroom. The homeless crowd that settles in each night. The tweakers that come in after snorting for a couple hours. The spread-eagle posters we print for local porn conventions...

A guy using a computer while talking on a cell, a few days ago, was discussing the quality of his strippers with a client. The client was dissatisfied with the quality of the girls, though the guy tried to argue they were, in fact "good girls". Apparently his A-listers were out of town for 4th of July parties. Who knew?

I've decided it's certain now. I am, without a doubt, knee-deep in the City of Los Angeles...

and things are completely normal.