Do you think that it's everyone's destiny to get married or are there some people that were never meant to? My friend, Keith, got married over the weekend, and don't get me wrong, if he's truly happy with the decision, then I'm ecstatic for him (except for the fact that he did it spur of the moment after I left and I couldn't be in it). I just know before I left Michigan there were many things in our everyday dialogue that led me to believe otherwise. Now that I'm gone and he's had to stay home and pay attention to her instead of hanging out with me maybe something has clicked inside of him to sway him towards marriage. I'm just worried that he isn't so much embracing marriage, as he is just conceding to it. That's the part that concerns me. I won't get into that too much, that's his choice and I respect it. Let's just leave it at that.

Marriage is no longer the solemn vows and lifelong commitment that it used to be. So many end in divorce that it's become more like choosing a prom date than a life partner. I think the main problem is that most couples are never truly in love. Oh, I believe that they think they're in love, but I'm not sure that most people translate their emotions correctly. I'm sure that love is part of it, but you can truly love someone and not be in love with them. I think what most people perceive as love is not truly love, but a set emotion (or mix of emotions) that they have conditioned their mind to translate into to love. Interest, lust, trust, kinship, compatibility, all these things, especially combined, can give a feeling of euphoria that is akin to what love is expected to be. 'Love at first sight' is a perfect example of a misconcieved version of love (don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are people who have experienced 'love at first sight' and were lucky enough to find the right one, but only by chance). You see someone, and before you even talk to them, these strong feelings rush through your body, feelings so pure and powerful that you 'just know'. I hate to tell you, but that 'oh, so pure feeling of love' is actually just another form of lust. It's based solely on what you see. People say that love if fleeting. I don't agree with that. I believe love is eternal. Lust, with a combination of other drawing qualities is, however, fleeting, even if it takes ten years to wear off.

Relationships today don't usually get the chance to elevate to a level of true love. I believe that a relationship can continue to grow until sex is brought into the picture, if haven't grown enough emotionally together, then those feelings transfer into a whole other set of feelings and the relationship plateaus. These new feelings are labeled as 'love', but don't have a lot of potential growth, if anything, they become harder to maintain. Feeling the effects of a stagnant relationship, people believe that the only way to move a relationship to the level they seek is the easy way: get married. That's the next logical step in a relationship, right? Not necessarily... Maybe it's not growing anymore because there's nothing left to contribute to that growth. Maybe that's the point where some people need to come to terms with the fact that 'cold feet' may actually be harsh realization setting in. I had a friend who, days before the wedding, said that he knew he wasn't in love with his bride anymore, but he still loved her enough to marry her. He loved her enough to have a ceremony, but that wasn't enough to last a lifetime, which is what marriage used to be about. I don't want that to happen to me.

I've always said the same thing that the majority of people have said, "I'm only getting married once". Well, I mean it. Until I'm 100% sure that I'm with the person I will be with until I die, it's not going to happen. If I never get married because of that, then so be it. I know that no one knows what the future holds and that there are no guarantees, but as long as I believe it's right, that's good enough for me. Both of my parents have been married multiple times, not to mention close friends who were divorced before they even hit there mid-twenties. Maybe I'm more than a little trigger shy, but I want forever, not for now.

I have more to write, but I have to go to work. We'll finish this discussion in a day or so. Until then...