That is, by far, the best piece of advise I've been given lately (possibly ever).

On Christmas Eve I asked God for courage; I'm getting closer to my dreams everyday, now. I wasn't sure at the time, even what I was asking for, now I think that I have a pretty good idea.

I've told everyone I know and everyone I've met, that I am moving to L.A., since the first time I went to visit my Uncle Thurman there, in the summer of '96. That's been my plan for 7 1/2 years. I guess you could call it more of a dream than a plan; I knew, somewhere in the back of my head, that it might not ever happen. But here I am, less than 6 weeks away, chasing my dreams, confronting my fears. Of course there were so many in the beginning, and everyday I remind myself, that "it's OK to be scared, but brave people do it anyway". And it's working. I know now that my fear cannot hurt me, and that God will not give me anything that I cannot handle.

We search the internet everyday for apartment leads and job openings, we look around for things that we can sell, and we've started packing the things we plan to take. We still aren't sure if we'll be able to come up with all of the money we need, but I know that it will all work out. I am more excited than afraid now, after all, the magic 8 ball says "all signs point to yes", "it is certain"..... the ocean is calling me..... this is my destiny.

I'm moving to California and my parents aren't happy about it. I won't have health insurance, a job, a place to stay, or even that much start-up money, but at least I'll be there. I'll be in Hollywood, where every day is sunny and warm and I can forget there are cold places in the world.

It was three degrees outside today. I'm sure it's been this cold just about every year around this time, but it seems even colder now. I just keep thinking "you'll never have to worry about this again". You might be poor, your job might suck, you might spend 20 years trying to break into an industry akin to a high school popularity contest... but at least you'll be warm... and at least you'll be with your friends... and at least you tried. That's more than most of them can say.

I don't have anyone to bail me out this time, so I don't have any reason to come back. I keep telling myself there are people in the world that didn't have parents to bail them out in the first place, and I'm sure they made it fine.

We're going to be ok. Things are going to work out.

I'm still "broke as a joke" (as The Girl would say). But sitting here listening to Pearl Jam's live version of 'Yellow Ledbetter' the feeling that everything will work out feels more logical than I'm destine to fail. And I know that worrying will get me no closer to the west.

Everyone's parents know now, we've all broken the news and Chuck's parents were the only ones to have any issues, and no one can seem to understand why.
The three of us have spent our lives working up the nerve to go out and give it everything we have, knowing the dangers of falling flat on our faces 2,500 miles away from any immediate family. The last thing any of us need to hear (especially from our parents) is that we are making big mistakes, and that we won't be helped if we leave and whole list of other un-encouraging topics.

But we are still all going; still all leaving the 29th, we still are going to make our own mistakes, and live our own lives.

Getting off that subject: The other day while the three of us sat around and talked in greater detail about our plans for California I decided to call Bryan Godwin (who owns a production rental service out in North Hollywood) who is a friend of Amanda's (The Girl's) family. It was defiantly encouraging to hear from someone who has made a life in the film industry offer his advice and possibly a job.

Well - its time for me fill out online job applications. So, till that day.