wasted

I watched a short film titled, "Marla" [as in Marla from fight club] by a film group called "Another State of Mind". I am jealous; envious; bitter; and very impressed by their work. I can feel the pressure building inside - the little things building one on-top of the other - another wasted day. Another unfinished project. Another idea shot down. I just want to film fucking anything! I apologize for the swearing but I needed that. Every idea or project I suggest it is shot to pieces or brushed off with a general compliment. Not enough story, not enough character development, too little action, too little dialogue, too anything... it never matters what. Marla is a great short, well shot, creative, original [in a strange sort of way] and guess what; lacks story; lacks character development; action; lots of things. But surprise, surprise: it's very interesting, and very well done. And from the looks of the behind the scenes bonus materials; it looked like it was a lot of fun to film. Ugg... I should be out doing filming right now, by myself if I have to, but as much as I want to film "anything" I don't want it to be nothing. Life is passing by... time is passing by... opportunities... chances... ideas... and I'm well aware of it. When am I going to react?