I just finished watching Oliver Stone's JFK -- and I must admit that I am now chilled to the bone. I know that the film is a work of fiction based around true historical events, but what is nagging in my mind is the fear that if one of the things in the film holds true, than... I am speechless... I am so many things that I have been dogmatically taught otherwise.

This film has left me feeling used by my supposed government, and I'm not referring to one party or the other, I am referring to the government as a whole, as a history... I don't even feel like voting. What's the point [although, I'm sure I will anyways] - it's all propaganda paid for with my tax money, it's all underlining the same goal - war is profitable - it's the biggest business in America, hands down, and voting is a lost cause... the voice of the people isn't going to change things for the better when it's measured by punch-holes. Something needs to be done... but I don't know what, or how.

"A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government. " --Edward Abbey

What can I do as one person? Even if I vote someone in like JFK, who actually tries to change things, who is actually willing to piss some people off to make the world a safer place, he'll just be killed. It's too crazy to be true? I wish it was... look at his brother, who was looking to pick up where his brother, was so forcefully, left off... killed. I think that despite all the evidence in JFK that could be argued back and forth till the end of time, this is the one thing that stands out the most as proof, in my eyes: The day after JFK was killed, LBJ undid everything that JFK had accomplished with one signature... overnight... the whitehouse / war-room was back on track. I think that was the saddest day in American history.

Here are some other interesting quotes I felt like tacking onto this post, enjoy:

"...But when he [the people's champion] has disposed of foreign enemies by conquest or treaty, and there is nothing to fear from them, then he is always stirring up some war or other, in order that the people may require a leader." -- Plato

"Annual drug deaths: tobacco: 395,000, alcohol: 125,000, 'legal' drugs: 38,000, illegal drug overdoses: 5,200, marijuana: 0. Considering government subsidies of tobacco, just what is our government protecting us from in the drug war? " --Ralph Nader

"What all of this indicates is that despite the Constitution, despite the First Amendment and its guarantees of free speech, American citizens must fear to speak their minds, knowing that their speech, their writings, their attendance of meetings, their signing of petitions, and their support of even the most nonviolent of organizations may result in their being listed in the files of the FBI, with consequences no one can surely know. It was Mark Twain who said, 'In our country, we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.' " -- Howard Zinn

I need to go to bed now, it's late, and this all has just begun to sink in. It's raining here in California, it's been raining all night - pouring down. I love the sound of rain when I'm falling asleep... Amanda is passed out on the bed infront of me, she looks so beautiful in the glow of the tv... I think I'll join her.